Sleeping Arrangements

Whoever made the documentary about penguins napping while standing up in Antarctic blizzards never met the domesticated birds. Hunkering down under the porch wasn’t good enough for them anymore, either. The birds’ skillful machinations had even induced PETA to push owners to get special penguin beds. The best-selling model was the peacock bed.

The really spoilt penguins got their own individual beds, the kind they used to make for dolls.

On warm nights, they skipped the blankets. When they could agree on it, that is. They squabbled often, the bears heard.